Thursday, December 24, 2009

10 THINGS A GIRL DOESN'T WANNA HEAR ON A FIRST DATE


10. I have a level 70 paladins and a level 80 cleric.

9. I'm not married, but I have a few kids, and they really want a mommy.

8. I think I love you. Wanna make a suicide pact?

7. I live in my parents basement.

6. I've never really had a steady job.

5. Don't worry my wife is on a business trip

4. I know how it feels to be uncomfortable around guys, from when I was in jail.

9. I have a sh!t fetish, will you take a dump on my chest?

2. My mom is my best friend, you'll understand why when you meet her.

1. Randy thinks you're pretty. Randy wants to sex you up tonight. Randy wants dessert.

Monday, December 21, 2009

X to the MASS






















I think Xmas is called Xmas for a reason,
as a society we have taken the Christ out of Christmas. Now X marks the spot!! How perfect!! I think its really fitting that its an X which to me stands for "wrong". Or if you make the hand gesture of an X below your waist it means SUCK IT!....yah its really does, watch some wrestling if you don't believe me!

I really dislike Xmas, I'm sure Christmas had meaning before it turned into a corporate time of year where people are obligated to spend a lot of money. Its retarded, it causes all kinds of stress to so many families. Especially for me, because I come from a broken home and there is all kinds of lies, animosity and pain attached to family for me. I wish I could just cut out all of the B.S but unfortunately you can't change people and you can't change your genetics.

As far as I'm concerned it should be about spending time with your loved ones, especially the people you don't get to see that often. NOT what you buy and how much money you spent. Any gift given should be heart-felt or helpful to the person you love. And you should only give a gift if you want to, I don't want a spite gift or a pride gift.

My point is I don't think we need a special occasion to get each-other gifts or do nice things for each-other.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

LOVE YOU SOME BIG WOMEN


As a disclaimer I think that more people should love woman who are festively plump, or just have a healthy appetite. It seems as though the bone rack look is more popular than it should be. Images on magazines are photo-shopped to perpetuate this extremely unattainable look. What’s more upsetting is that there is a discrepancy between cultures/ races on how thin they want they’re woman to look. From my personal observation Caucasian and Asian women are expected to be as thin as possible. But it seems if you have African heritage if you sport an extra 10 – 50 lbs , it’s A-Ok, even encouraged. Basically, the darker your skin is the heavier you can be and still thought of as attractive. If you are white and you have an extra 30+ pounds on you, you will attract a darker skinned mate. This is my observation I don't know of any studies to back my claims. I can only go by what I see on T.V. the types of women cast in roles in studio movies and couples in the mall. Also from living in 3 major Canadian cities and having several friends with various backgrounds.

It seems to me that white boys like they’re ladies boney unless they are from a culture that enjoys the culinary arts. Black guys and Latino's enjoy themselves a full figured voluptuous woman. For example if you look at a black guys, who has a white girlfriend, she tends to be heavier. In fact I’m convinced Black men LOVE big woman. Like not just fat chicks but were talking extra tasty crispy fried chicken big. Like, go get the mail and have a mild heart attack big. When they wear pumps it looks like they’re baking bread. Instead of five-finger discount you get the "fake pregnant lady" discount. Or the find the crease and shove it in, it all feels the same.

Yeah you get the idea.


Maybe I'm way off base here but, at the end of the day the pressures on woman to look a certain way is just another shitty thing we have to put up with besides our monthly "gift".

Monday, January 5, 2009

Just Eat It



Over the past few years, I’ve heard a few guys tell me… “Black guys don’t eat pussy”  I thought that’s just what white and Asian guys tell girls to even out the playing field, if you know what I mean. Now this statement is an obvious HUGE generalization. Its like saying all black guys have big dicks. This is most certainly not true!!! 9 out of 10 black guys have decent sized cocks but, that 10th one is sooo fucking puny it makes up for the rest of them. I’d kill myself if I were that guy who defies the stereotype in the worst possible way.

 So black guys don’t lick snatch?!?HUH? Now I’m an equal opportunity dater and I’ve dated many shades under the sun and never ran into this problem with any shade. And still haven’t to this day KNOCK ON WOOD! ;-p

And I say problem because it’s a PROBLEM.   Now fellas, realistically, if you meet a girl that told you “I DON’T SUCK COCK AND I NEVER WILL.....blah blah blah bullshit ” you’d think that she’s a stuck-up, high maintenance, bitch. TRUE? On a side note, I know two girls that allegedly don’t suck cock, and one is A COLD Hearted bitch and the other is a dumb slut, yep not all sluts suck cock, who knew?. And those are ACCURATE descriptions of them.

Moving right along.....

 Up until very recently I was having a conversation with a guy who strait up has NEVER gone down on a girl and this mutha fucka (although a nice gentlemanly guy) has two kids and was with one of his baby mamas for 7 years!! WHAT THE BLOODCLOT? As a woman you must really hate yourself to be with a guy for that long, who won’t even so much as KISS your vajay-jay. If you don't hate yourself why would you allow this to happen, he clearly doesn't love you. When I was trying to figure out why this particular guy refuses to eat pussy. I asked him a million questions and realized that he was kind of a FOB and was super old school, his family was from Nigeria and he might have even been born there. So you can guess his race and I’ll leave it at that.  He seemed to believe that going down on a girl was some new age shit… IM BEING COMPLETELY serious he said to me “ do you really think that people were going down on each other like, a thousand years ago?” That was a one sided debate… clearly. Its like “as long as people had tongues there were licking shit. FOOL. Like frozen poles and assholes”. It’s like asking me why dogs lick their balls… UMMM because they can??!?!? Sometimes the simplest answer is the correct one.

 I don't know what the fuck is sooo wrong about giving some face time with the one part of a woman that makes her a WOMAN.  Lets face it anyone can have tits. The punanny is sacred and should be treated as such!

 I wasn’t interested in dating this guy before I found this unGodly fact out but, I told him that I would NEVER sleep with him knowing this. I’d let him buy me dinner but, you know this girls gotta eat! But, at the end of the day how are you gonna take me to dinner, if you don’t eat out?

Now I don’t think this phenomena is a “black” thing it might have something to do with culture, but this is all speculation.

One of my girlfriends told me this guy she was feeling just told her he doesn’t eat pussy during a casual convo, and he was east Indian (and a hip-hop dj who shall remain nameless).  After that she was so turned off she stopped talking to him, completely. Good girl!

 One night I was chillin with the boys and this topic got brought up, again! My guys started clowning on this one guy, who happens to be Jamaican about the fact that he has NEVER eaten pussy before. Aaaaaaand, he was proud of it!! Now there was like 5 or 6 guys talking about it, 2 of which were Jamaican the others were from all over the globe. Now what puzzles me is that Jamaicans are known for being HUGE homophobes. It seems like you are not allowed to be a gay man in that culture. (Which is so backwards but, that’s a topic for another day.)

 

All I have to say is this…..

Gay Men Don’t eat pussy cuz they suck cock… So what’s your excuse?

CLIT TEASE