Monday, January 5, 2009

Just Eat It



Over the past few years, I’ve heard a few guys tell me… “Black guys don’t eat pussy”  I thought that’s just what white and Asian guys tell girls to even out the playing field, if you know what I mean. Now this statement is an obvious HUGE generalization. Its like saying all black guys have big dicks. This is most certainly not true!!! 9 out of 10 black guys have decent sized cocks but, that 10th one is sooo fucking puny it makes up for the rest of them. I’d kill myself if I were that guy who defies the stereotype in the worst possible way.

 So black guys don’t lick snatch?!?HUH? Now I’m an equal opportunity dater and I’ve dated many shades under the sun and never ran into this problem with any shade. And still haven’t to this day KNOCK ON WOOD! ;-p

And I say problem because it’s a PROBLEM.   Now fellas, realistically, if you meet a girl that told you “I DON’T SUCK COCK AND I NEVER WILL.....blah blah blah bullshit ” you’d think that she’s a stuck-up, high maintenance, bitch. TRUE? On a side note, I know two girls that allegedly don’t suck cock, and one is A COLD Hearted bitch and the other is a dumb slut, yep not all sluts suck cock, who knew?. And those are ACCURATE descriptions of them.

Moving right along.....

 Up until very recently I was having a conversation with a guy who strait up has NEVER gone down on a girl and this mutha fucka (although a nice gentlemanly guy) has two kids and was with one of his baby mamas for 7 years!! WHAT THE BLOODCLOT? As a woman you must really hate yourself to be with a guy for that long, who won’t even so much as KISS your vajay-jay. If you don't hate yourself why would you allow this to happen, he clearly doesn't love you. When I was trying to figure out why this particular guy refuses to eat pussy. I asked him a million questions and realized that he was kind of a FOB and was super old school, his family was from Nigeria and he might have even been born there. So you can guess his race and I’ll leave it at that.  He seemed to believe that going down on a girl was some new age shit… IM BEING COMPLETELY serious he said to me “ do you really think that people were going down on each other like, a thousand years ago?” That was a one sided debate… clearly. Its like “as long as people had tongues there were licking shit. FOOL. Like frozen poles and assholes”. It’s like asking me why dogs lick their balls… UMMM because they can??!?!? Sometimes the simplest answer is the correct one.

 I don't know what the fuck is sooo wrong about giving some face time with the one part of a woman that makes her a WOMAN.  Lets face it anyone can have tits. The punanny is sacred and should be treated as such!

 I wasn’t interested in dating this guy before I found this unGodly fact out but, I told him that I would NEVER sleep with him knowing this. I’d let him buy me dinner but, you know this girls gotta eat! But, at the end of the day how are you gonna take me to dinner, if you don’t eat out?

Now I don’t think this phenomena is a “black” thing it might have something to do with culture, but this is all speculation.

One of my girlfriends told me this guy she was feeling just told her he doesn’t eat pussy during a casual convo, and he was east Indian (and a hip-hop dj who shall remain nameless).  After that she was so turned off she stopped talking to him, completely. Good girl!

 One night I was chillin with the boys and this topic got brought up, again! My guys started clowning on this one guy, who happens to be Jamaican about the fact that he has NEVER eaten pussy before. Aaaaaaand, he was proud of it!! Now there was like 5 or 6 guys talking about it, 2 of which were Jamaican the others were from all over the globe. Now what puzzles me is that Jamaicans are known for being HUGE homophobes. It seems like you are not allowed to be a gay man in that culture. (Which is so backwards but, that’s a topic for another day.)

 

All I have to say is this…..

Gay Men Don’t eat pussy cuz they suck cock… So what’s your excuse?

CLIT TEASE