Thursday, September 9, 2010

BBM BALLS






I love text messaging or bbm’n or whatever means to communicate without hearing someone’s voice but rather reading their thoughts. Why? I like it because its impersonal, yeah that’s right I said it! I love it because you get strait to the point and you don’t pussyfoot around so to speak.
I also hate it for the same reasons, because what people text you (especially when they want something from you- like your penis or vagina) generally wouldn’t have the balls to say it out loud or to your face. People hide behind texts like smokers hide behind their cigarettes. How many times have you hung out with a friend or a lover and after you left, all of a sudden you get this text where they told you how they really feel.

What?!!?! Like you just spent 5 hours with me and you couldn’t say it to my face?

I’ve heard the phrase E-courage being tossed around, men lacking in the balls department use this medium of communication to see how far they can push their sexual advances to see if you’re game. Usually as a form of insurance they add as an “lol” or “jk” Or “ :p” as a scapegoat, just in case you get offended.

If she plays along you’re good, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to seal the deal. If she’s not game, you may look like a fool or just a run of the mill asshole. Or she might NEVER talk to your bbm balls again!! But you can always say:
“I was just kidding,”
“ it was a text you, didn’t get the tone”
Blah blah blah. Whatever, we’ve heard it all before.

Women don’t give a shit. The truth is if a woman likes you, you can have whatever you want, if you treat her well. It’s not hard to be a gentleman!
You know the old saying wine, dine, 69?
That shit is like 1st year chemistry and biology.
Why you trying to fuck with the formula?
You need to relax with those bbm balls!

It’s true, if your not completely scared of human interaction- and can have a conversation outside of bbm & sms. Then you can take this girl out for dinner and drinks and hopefully she’s down, you might have to try out the wine and dine a few times first just to make sure they’re is not a complete sociopath. Or just to make both parties revved up for the big event.

But regardless Boys will be boys…..

I’ve gotten random texts from guys that I’ve NEVER gone on a date with saying
905-I just _____in the shower, thinking of you

647-your facebook pics inspired me….(insert a photo of them grabbing their belt buckle)

416-I wanna kiss you….. but with my other lips ~What “other lips?” “My penis hole counts as lips”

514-I want to deep in you, i wish to kiss your lips, a want to make your passion be free... please **** me ! yes, yes, yes,yes, yes

416-I want 2 hold ur hand & when I say hand I mean____ & when I say hold I mean_____! LOL

604-Ah, I’ve gone through quite a few tissue boxes glancing over your photos
;) lol

Listen punk, if your sending me pictures of your abs it doesn’t do the same thing for a woman as it does for when a chick sends a sexy pic to a man….