Monday, May 24, 2010

DOUCHE-DAR



THERE IS AN EPIDEMIC WITH PERFECTLY HOT CHICKS WRAPPED UP WITH PERFECTLY DOUCHEY GUYS..... I WANT THIS TO STOP. SO HERE IS MY GUIDE TO SPOTTING A DOUCHE-BAG.

The Problemo is this ladies…. You don’t have your douchedar on…. You’ve got to hone in on your douchdar skills and stop making excuses for other people’s behavior.


If you have ever said or texted your Girlfriends this….


“ Oh he’s having a bad day cuz he spilled coffee on his fav Ed Hardy Tshirt, that’s why he didn’t call me”


“ Oh he cheated on me cuz his mom just died”


“Oh he forgot his wallet in his other pants, so I had to pay no biggy, we went to burger king”


“He was late because he had to get his eyebrows waxed”


“He takes HGH and for the longest time I thought it was a drink!!” (HGH= human growth hormone aka steroids)


“He fucked his friends sister because he heard she gave good head….from her brother!!!”


“He nick named himself T-bone.... you don't want to know why”


“He says bro and bra, all the time and they mean the same thing!”


"He still lives with his parents because he doesn't know how to cook or do laundry"


“He took so long to get ready because he couldn’t find shoes to match his bedazzled Christian Audiger long sleeve t-shirt”


“He calls me SHORTY”


“He called me Shannon, my name is Juanita, WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR 3 MONTHS!”


“He asked to borrow money so he could pay child support, I found out he spent it at a STRIP CLUB!”


“He wants to have a threesome with me and my MOM!”


“That’s his second DUI this month!!”


“He can’t hang out because he is too busy fixing his bong”


“His v-neck T-shirt showed more cleavage than mine!!!”


“ He smelled like perfume cuz he was with his sister” But I’ve never met his sister. Does he even have a sister??!!!”


LISTEN SISTER,,,, He’s a douchebag and I can smell it a mile away.


Those are some easy tell tale signs…….. STAY DOUCHE-LESS

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