Showing posts with label DOUCHE-BAGS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DOUCHE-BAGS. Show all posts

Monday, January 30, 2012

The white Stuff follow up



Let me just address this Ish right now.....

I had some anonymous dude hit me up about my last blog "The white stuff" with tears in his eyes, accusing me of "man bashing" and he didn't think it was funny. He also stated that I've probably been hurt before and that the best jokes are at the expense of the comedian.


The Blog "The white stuff" is about Jizz and the way it tastes. (I also included a picture of Taylor Swift with a milk mustache, the reasons are painstakingly clear.)

I'm assuming that it was a dude whining about my blog, even tho this particular "dude" is clearly Bitch-made. There's no women on this planet that gets her panties in a wad about males behaving badly and being put on blast about it.

So back to the sack-less hater....

1.Obviously your the type of dude that loves the taste of Jizz. You probably masturbate with your mouth open just so you can catch a hot shot in your mouth.

2. I don't make fun of men I make fun of douche-bags. (Men are great, I love all of them.
Douche-bags are selfish, camera in the mirror posing little pansies, who are overcompensating with bravado because their balls haven't dropped yet.)

3. I can't and don't generally do self deprecating humor because I'm good looking and it doesn't work or make sense. Plus making fun of people, like you that ride the short bus is so much more fun.

4. I'm glad my post offended you, that's the point.

5. Why don't you grow a pair and add a name to your anonymous comment, but first go change your tampon.


I'm Done

Monday, May 24, 2010

DOUCHE-DAR



THERE IS AN EPIDEMIC WITH PERFECTLY HOT CHICKS WRAPPED UP WITH PERFECTLY DOUCHEY GUYS..... I WANT THIS TO STOP. SO HERE IS MY GUIDE TO SPOTTING A DOUCHE-BAG.

The Problemo is this ladies…. You don’t have your douchedar on…. You’ve got to hone in on your douchdar skills and stop making excuses for other people’s behavior.


If you have ever said or texted your Girlfriends this….


“ Oh he’s having a bad day cuz he spilled coffee on his fav Ed Hardy Tshirt, that’s why he didn’t call me”


“ Oh he cheated on me cuz his mom just died”


“Oh he forgot his wallet in his other pants, so I had to pay no biggy, we went to burger king”


“He was late because he had to get his eyebrows waxed”


“He takes HGH and for the longest time I thought it was a drink!!” (HGH= human growth hormone aka steroids)


“He fucked his friends sister because he heard she gave good head….from her brother!!!”


“He nick named himself T-bone.... you don't want to know why”


“He says bro and bra, all the time and they mean the same thing!”


"He still lives with his parents because he doesn't know how to cook or do laundry"


“He took so long to get ready because he couldn’t find shoes to match his bedazzled Christian Audiger long sleeve t-shirt”


“He calls me SHORTY”


“He called me Shannon, my name is Juanita, WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR 3 MONTHS!”


“He asked to borrow money so he could pay child support, I found out he spent it at a STRIP CLUB!”


“He wants to have a threesome with me and my MOM!”


“That’s his second DUI this month!!”


“He can’t hang out because he is too busy fixing his bong”


“His v-neck T-shirt showed more cleavage than mine!!!”


“ He smelled like perfume cuz he was with his sister” But I’ve never met his sister. Does he even have a sister??!!!”


LISTEN SISTER,,,, He’s a douchebag and I can smell it a mile away.


Those are some easy tell tale signs…….. STAY DOUCHE-LESS