Jack be nimble but not too quick

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Ain't no fun..when the homies cant have none

I wrote this little diddy a few years back for a "thatmagazine" that is no longer in publication. It was penned at 2 or 3 am, after I was ranting to my boys about sex. Laughter ensued and they suggested I should write this shit down! So I did just for fun and well, here it is enjoy....


SEX!! When is it ever not complicated?!?!? I mean, it is a basic human necessity. You gotsta have it, there is no way around it. Unless of course you are an A-sexual but, that's like 1% of the population. Who cares about people that have no libido anyway? UGH! I'm getting bored just thinking about it. I dont know what my life would be like if I wasn't insatiably horny. I probably would NOT have as much drama or problems ,thats for DAMN sure. But, the worst problem is when you are not getting it. And its completely consuming your every last thought. JESUS! Please help the poor shmucks that aren't getting any. Manual labor is not at all what its cracked up to be. I am sure most of you reading this can agree. There is no pill you can take as far as I'm concerned that can replace a hot sweaty body thrusting against you. Sorry folks, there is no convincing me of this otherwise. But, if you are out on the prowl , chances you are scaring off your prey as soon as you step in the room. As soon as you relax about it and stop looking, thats when people start coming out the woodworks, flirting with you trying to digits etc... Hopefully then your in the predicament where you have to choose who you are going to take home. Again, what to do.....what to do??? Could be a do or die situation. You DON'T want to be a huge skank, (well I don't! but im sure there are enuf guys that could care less) & have a guy/girl for every other night of the week. Monday guy #1 , Wednesday guy #2 and Saturday Random guy #3. Now that is how you get the clap or herpes or whatever STD that happens to be popular at that time. NOT to mention the possiblility of some guy that you are not particularily into falling in LOVE with you and then you have a mutha-fuckin stalker! SHIT! There are endless scenarios where you are just fulfilling your basic human needs, then shit hits the fan and you don't know what the fuck to do. Like I said, somehow, someway it always gets complicated. Unless you get lucky NOT LIKELY. So the moral of this story, kids, is have sex (if you can, preferably consentual ) make it count and wrap that shit up!

Jenetics